Today my daughter takes her driver's test. This is the third time I've taught one of my children to drive, and my last one will be coming along in a few years. At times like this I reflect on how simple Life was when they were small children, and how stupid I was not to realize that parenting was easy back then.
When my children were small I spent way too much time worrying about them. The things I worried about seem so ridiculous now. Whether they would fall off their bike and skin their knee. Whether they'd catch a cold if they were around another child who was sick. Whether they would get their feelings hurt if they weren't invited to a sleepover. I look back at those days and think, Was I crazy? Why was I losing sleep over that? There are way more important things to worry about when your children get bigger.
For at least the first year after every one of my children gets a driver's license my heart pounds whenever they go out in the car. I think about them constantly, and if they're not home exactly on time I break out into a sweat. If they're ten minutes late I start pacing the floor and trying to call them on the cell phone. If they don't answer my heart starts racing, although I'm also hoping it's because I told them not to talk on their cell phone while driving. When they get home I cross-examine them to find out what happened, and when I'm sure everything is okay my body goes limp.
Big kids mean bigger problems. Every time they leave the house you imagine what kind of trouble they could get into. It's complicated by the fact that as a parent you realize you're supposed to be giving them more freedom, because the teenage years are when children are learning how to run their own lives. When they were little I didn't have to fool around with this, "Let me live my own life" stuff. I was in charge -- end of story.
Parents always try to shield children from making a mistake. When they're little you make sure they fasten their seatbelts, don't drink Pepsi before bedtime, and look both ways before crossing the street. Those instincts don't go away when they get older. Every parent would secretly like to keep making decisions for their children even when they grow up. Don't drive that fast, don't go to that party, don't go to that college, don't marry that person -- I could hear myself saying all those things. I have to back off, though, and realize that it would be a sad situation if my children were still taking orders from me when they're 30.
That doesn't make it any easier, though, when they come back from the driver's exam with that big smile on their faces and say, "I passed! When can I have the car?"
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